Sent By a Republican Friend

The Postal Service created a 41-cent first-class stamp with a picture of President Bush. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes, which enraged the President,who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing, a special presidential commission presented the following findings:

1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the applied adhesive.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side

Hosting a State of the Union Party: Drinking Games and What to Do While You Suffer through the Speech

So, if you are going to watch the speech this Tuesday, you might as well make it interesting, or at least less painful. Invite over some friends so you can commiserate together...

What to Serve:

• Bologna sandwiches: sandwiches that are, like the president, full of baloney. On white bread, of course
• Alcohol...you're gonna need it
• Pretzels, to remind us that an even greater evil--Cheney--is just another choke-on-a-pretzel away
• Freedom fries
• Chips and dip. Because who doesn't love chips and dip?
• Order some pizzas and tip the delivery person really well. Consider it doing your part until the minimum wage is (finally!) officially raised. You can also use the pizza to create a pie chart of tax cuts, but make sure you get the portion that represents the breaks for the rich, unless you are on a diet

::snerk:: Read more ways to entertain yourself tonight.