More from teh Geek Zodiac

AiYume's geek zodiac sign:


The Scientist
October 16 00:00:00 to November 20 23:59:59

The Scientist could be confused for the Specialist or the Hacker if it wasn't for the broad knowledge or the methodical way he investigates new knowledges. Where the Engineer applies learned knowledge, the Scientist is there discovering the facts that no one else knows. The development, testing and disproving of theories runs all through the Scientists life, and even his friendship and other relationships may go through the same stages...often making it difficult to interact with this geek zodiac sign.

Email Joke

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends.We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box?

We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up"

"Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she
is,did exactly what her husband asked .

The following weekend he came home, a little tired but otherwise looking
good.

The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said,

"Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't
you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"You'll love the answer...

The wife replied,

"I did. They're in your fishing box.....

Geek Zodiac

Check out the Geek Zodiac.

Very cool! This is me, your venerable and wacky hostess for this trip, Pengwenny

The Webmaster
February 6 00:00:00 to March 13 23:59:59

The Webmaster is the member of the geek zodiac with the most interaction with the non-technical people in society and so either becomes the most socially capable or the person with the greatest disdain for non-geeks. Other geeks may not consider the Webmaster a geek at all, but those geeks don't understand the intricacies of cross-browser development and failures to maintain strict standard conformity.

I Would Be Tempted To Get This

TV's first feminist debuts on DVD

Before "Roseanne," "Kate and Allie" and "One Day at a Time" became hits featuring strong women and frequently mature themes, there was "Maude," the groundbreaking, six-season CBS comedy featuring Bea Arthur.

Big, brassy and pushing 50 at the time, Arthur concedes she was an atypical TV star. The Broadway veteran was tapped for her own series after a stint on "All in the Family" as Maude Findlay, the liberal nemesis and sister-in-law of arch-conservative Archie Bunker. That prompted series creator Norman Lear to create a spinoff based on an upper-middle-class New York feminist on her fourth marriage.

"She was not your average, beautiful heroine, but I felt like Cinderella," says Arthur, now 83. "It was one of the first times on television that a woman was seen as the head of the family instead of the usual fumbling male."

Nearly 35 years after its debut in fall 1972, viewers may find "Maude: The Complete First Season" (Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, $29.95) tame. But at the time, Maude's story lines on alcoholism, menopause, women's lib, nervous breakdowns and hemorrhoids were considered so controversial that some network affiliates refused to air episodes -- such as a two-parter on Maude's abortion.

"I liked the fact that we touched on just about everything untouchable," says Arthur, whose last TV appearance was as Larry David's surly mom on HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm." "It was so very different and not what people expected."

"Maude: The Complete First Season" is due March 20.

Who Said That . . .

The title of this site is a quote. Can anyone tell me who said it?

Another hilarious cartoon from XKCD:

Shared Over the Water Cooler

There's a sweet old guy in my office who likes to tell me off color jokes. He told this one the other day.

A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand. The agent reviewed the young man's slim resume and small portfolio with the care that was deserving of his fine young specimen.

"You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor of an actor. Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of."

"Other than the requisite high school and college plays, no sir," said the handsome young man.

"I dare say I know the reason why, with a name like yours," said the agent.

"Sir?"

"Your name. Penis Van Lesbian. That's not a name that will go far in Hollywood. I'd love to represent you, but you'll have to change your name."

"Sir," the handsome young man protested. "The Van Lesbian name was my father's, my grandfather's and his father's name. We have carried this name for generations and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other reason."

"If you won't change your name, I cannot represent you young man."

"Then I bid you farewell my name will not change." With that, Penis Van Lesbian left the agents office never to return.

Five Years Later: The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with some producers and shuffled through his mail. Mostly junk mail, trade journals and the like. There was one letter. He opened the envelope and removed the letter. As he unfolded the fine linen paper, a check dropped from the folds and onto his desk. He looked at the check. It was for 50,000 dollars! He read the letter:

Dear Sir: Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become an actor. You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I objected, saying the Penis Van Lesbian name had been carried for generations and left your office. However, upon leaving, I chanced to reconsider my hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your advice and endeavored to change my name. Now I am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions worldwide.

Having achieved this fame and fortune, it is often that I think back to my meeting with you and your insistence that I change my name. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so please accept this check with my humble thanks, for it was your idea which has brought me to such wealth and fame.

Very Sincerely Yours,

Dick Van Dyke

50 New Sex Positions . . .

Not for the faint of heart . . .

The Secret Affair

While eating her boxed lunch, start a flirtatious conversation with her vagina. When she asks you what you're doing, deny you are talking to anyone. When she closes her eyes again, laugh and then whisper into her vagina, "Shhhhh! You're going to get me in trouble." [click pic to see more]

Hosting a State of the Union Party: Drinking Games and What to Do While You Suffer through the Speech

So, if you are going to watch the speech this Tuesday, you might as well make it interesting, or at least less painful. Invite over some friends so you can commiserate together...

What to Serve:

• Bologna sandwiches: sandwiches that are, like the president, full of baloney. On white bread, of course
• Alcohol...you're gonna need it
• Pretzels, to remind us that an even greater evil--Cheney--is just another choke-on-a-pretzel away
• Freedom fries
• Chips and dip. Because who doesn't love chips and dip?
• Order some pizzas and tip the delivery person really well. Consider it doing your part until the minimum wage is (finally!) officially raised. You can also use the pizza to create a pie chart of tax cuts, but make sure you get the portion that represents the breaks for the rich, unless you are on a diet

::snerk:: Read more ways to entertain yourself tonight.

It’s a bra! It’s an eyepatch! It’s a bra! It’s an eyepatch!

Every so often, the fashion world turns very practical. With this “creation” unveiled in Paris this week, women have all kinds of flexibility. They have a bra, a blindfold, an eyepatch, a toga… Probably even a Wonder Woman outfit, if they fold it the right way. What other designer lets you go from pirate to super-hero without even packing an overnight bag? FROM BLOG: Reuters Oddly Enough - It's news, but not, you know, the important kind...

Courage award for man who threw out old computer cables

A Guildford man has been honoured in the People’s Courage Awards for 2006 for showing ‘outstanding bravery and strength of character’ in throwing out a number of old computer cables, even though he could not remember where they came from and could not be certain that one of them might not come in handy again at some point in the future.

More info here

(This seems to be the British equivalent of The Onion.)

Jesus and Mo

Gwenny's Fav Taglines, Episode I

• It's a thankless job but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
• I'll try being nicer if you will try being smarter. jenni
  
• I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
• Good health is really just the slowest way to die.
• If you only do what you have always done, you will only get what you have always gotten.
• If your flirtations cause injury, you're probably a Klingon. David Rice
• If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. - Johnny Carson
• Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich. Why settle for a lesser evil?
• The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne
• Cause of death: Natural selection.
• I like my men like my coffee: hot, sweet, strong and rich. gtp
• I’m an agnostic pagan...I doubt the existence of many gods.--Tony
• It's great to have pagan friends. They worship the ground you walk on.
• Virginity is not lost--it's invested. --guppie
• The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• If little girls are made of sugar and spice why do they taste like tuna?
• Sorry, my fault...I forgot you're stupid. gtp
  
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• I have ESP, PMS, and a GUN. . .don't even THINK about it.
• If you like my bumper, you'll love my headlights.
• Sorry I missed church; but I've been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
• Don't bother me I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• Eagles may soar but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.
• You've been a bad boy - Go to MY room!!
  

Surprise birth has chimp sanctuary checking vasectomies

SHREVEPORT, Louisiana (AP) -- A female chimpanzee at a sanctuary has given birth, despite the fact that the facility's entire male chimp population has had vasectomies.

Now managers at Chimp Haven are planning a paternity test for the seven males who lived in a group with Teresa, a wild-born chimpanzee in her late 40s who had the baby girl last week.

Workers have started collecting hair samples from the chimps for testing. Once they identify the father, it's back to the operating room for him.

Chimp Haven managers said they knew something was up when Teresa was missing during morning rounds on January 8. Later in the day, she appeared with a newborn chimpanzee in her arms.

"Well, we were all just a little bit surprised when we heard the news," said Linda Brent, a spokeswoman for Chimp Haven.

The baby chimpanzee was named Tracy and she and her mother are doing fine, Brent said.

Teresa had 10 other offspring before retiring to Chimp Haven over a year ago. This is her first baby in 13 years.

It's also the first chimpanzee born at the sanctuary although officials there hope there will be no more accidents.

Chimp Haven provides long-term care for chimpanzees who are no longer needed for laboratory research. It was established by a group of primatologists and is located on 200 forested acres about 20 miles southwest of Shreveport. The first chimpanzee residents began arriving in 2005, according to the sanctuary's Web site.